Krino

Krino

Interesting that I had never heard that word, much less knew its meanings prior to last Sunday's church service where Keith Korver explained it in a sermon. First, to Keith - who will probably never read this - I must say that you pack more profound material into 30 minutes than most other teachers I've heard. Each point, illustration, and concept he unpacks could be a sermon in itself. Good thing too, because nearly everyone in the room can latch onto something, chew on it, digest it, and be nourished. This is the nugget I took away from his sermon last Sunday.

Krino - Greek word meaning "to judge" or more, explicitly, to: condemn, avenge, damn, sentence, or levy a punishment against. Yikes. No wonder Jesus says explicitly NOT to do this. In a passage of scripture that is neither cryptic nor subject to varied interpretation Jesus boldly warns against "krino-ing" others "lest we be krino-ed". He goes on to say that the measure with which I "krino" someone will be the measure by which I am "krino-ed". In a nutshell - what goes around comes around. I like it. Simple. Golden Rule-esque. Words to live by.

One problem . . . I "krino" people all the time. Its double-knot stitched into the fabric of my being just like breathing and thinking about sex. It goes something like this:

"That guy's a jerk for cutting me off in traffic."

"My wife is being selfish."

"That person meant to hurt me with that comment."

"That guy is a slacker."

 "That family is a bunch of messed up weirdos."

"This unhelpful call-center worker serves no purpose in existing"

"Those people unfairly judge me all the time."

"That person is a space-waster."

"My former business associates are crooks."

"Those people are arrogant"

 "These people are hypocrites."

"Those people are bad parents." "

These people don't know how to handle their money."

... just to name a few.


I live with krino as my constant companion riding shot-gun with me through life telling me how lazy, stupid, incompetent, mean, selfish, cruel, and rude everyone else in my world is. Funny. You'd think I'd feel better about myself, being the only smart, caring, charming, intelligent, conscientious person I know. Right? Wrong.

So what does a person like me do? In my heart of hearts I've given my life to Christ - no reservations. As much as I can comprehend it and with my soul in broken shambles, I've cried out to Jesus to save me, heal my brokenness, and make me like Him - and LESS LIKE ME. I want more of Jesus and I ask for it regularly. Here's where it gets interesting. . . for me at least.

Trials. 

I would never have put it together on my own that God's recipe for kicking the "krino" out of me was a good ole' fashioned hardship or two. But starting in March 2007, I started down a road of hardships that I'm still on today . . . July 2010.

Don't get me wrong, I'm writing this on my laptop hooked to my wi-fi sitting in my lazy-boy in front of my big screen TV while my wife and I half-watch a DVR'd episode of Glee so don't feel sorry for me - (except for the part about having to watch Glee).  In the context of human history I've got it better than 99.9% of people who've ever lived on Planet Earth.  I realize that.  My version of "hardships" would be like a fluffy vanilla ice-cream cone for many who are less fortunate.  The mere fact that I get to sit in my pajamas and blog it up existential-style means that I'm FAR removed from the horrors many of my brothers and sisters around the world have endured, and continue to endure.  I get that too.  None the less, these past few years, in my context, have been hard, for me.

I won't bore you with details of the individual trials themselves. I'll let one of my dear friends or family members do that.  They all know the stories because I've told them over and over and over - God bless'em (you know who you are). Let me just say that they included betrayal, scandal, abandonment, loss, financial devastation, sickness, lying, stealing, waywardness, depression, lust, and all sorts of other bad things.

As an aside, I never would have known the weakness of my character, or my physical body without the fire of trials. Trials publish my weaknesses, one volume after another, reading like the tired, recycled plot line of an expose' on yet another Christian hypocrite. Let me settle it for you. I'm a hypocrite.  A recovering Pharisee just like you.  Except, now, by God's grace, I'm a little less blind to it.

Make no mistake, I have the capacity to commit terrible sins.  I will undoubtedly sin numerous times throughout the rest of my life unfortunately. So will you. So glad my Father views me through the righteousness of Christ, and not the righteousness of Matt.  I cling to one thing, that when Jesus died on the cross he bore the eternal death sentence that was supposed to be mine and the shedding of His blood satisfied justice on my behalf. My sins are forgiven past and future. . . period.  Thanks Daddy.  Your kindness truly leads me to repentance, over, and over again.

But forgiveness and repentance are the beginning of the journey for a recovering hypocrite like me. This story is about the road to recovery. The stuff that comes after step one.

On with the story. . .

Being on the receiving end of trials of various kinds tempts you to feel abandoned and afraid. A weak-willed person like myself finds it easiest to turn to numerous unhealthy coping mechanisms in times like these, and I did - and at times - I still do. I drank. I escaped into pornography. I bought stuff I didn't need.  I moved.  I blamed others for my situation.  I worked too much.  In short, I ran away. I tried to hide. I tried to escape.

God wouldn't let me escape or hide. Earlier in the process I sometimes coped by launching into Job-esque temper tantrums directed at the ceiling - first in the house on Spruce and the office apartment on 13th, then the red house, then the house in Texas, then the trailer, now the apartment again. Over 2000 miles, 5 different jobs, 4 business deals that either fell through or blew up in my face, 4 different houses in 2 years. Broken relationships, broken dreams, no visible connection between my efforts and my outcomes, failure, disappointment, wilderness, and in the midst of it all, silence.  I kicked and screamed and complained.  I know He heard it, but He was, for the most part, silent.  In His mercy He hasn't flamed back at me the way I've flamed at Him.  And there is a reason for that.  His current response to sin and flailing temper tantrums is grace.

Still, I couldn't escape the way I wanted to.  Every time I'd turn to something He'd expose me.  Every time I wanted to tag out of the ring, He'd drag me back in for another round.  He wouldn't let me quit the process.  He wouldn't let me escape the desert, the wilderness, the dark night of the soul.  And why would He?  In my most honest and earnest prayers I'd prayed for Him to change me.  This is what I ASKED Him to do.  Little did I know that the process would take so long and be filled with so much pain... sadly, almost all self-inflicted pain.

Early on during this season I discovered a glaring character flaw in myself.  During times of testing and; trial I have almost no capacity for love, generosity, peace or joy.  I just hurt.  I do not give.  I consume.

One thing that has always blown my mind is how some people can offer grace and hospitality to others when they are in the most dire of situations.  I've sat with people in refugee camps with some of the highest population densities on earth with up to 30 people living in a 20x20 room with a thatch roof and dirt floor.  A small cook stove and one or two pots to cook meals.  No toilet.  No privacy.  No basic sanitary supplies or toiletries.  No place to bury their dead but the landfill they live on.  And worst of all, no hope of ever getting out.  These are unimaginably difficult circumstances, so much so that my Western American mind and spirit simply shut down from overload and shock.  For me, the sheer exhaustion of even processing that level of despair and the darkness leaves me somewhere between numb and hopeless.

Yet, astoundingly, I routinely found a generous spirit and unsearchable joy in the lives of those living in dark places. How can this be???? I'm totally and utterly baffled by it. In this environment words of bitterness and anger should sting the your ears just like the stench of feces and decay stings your nostrils.  Instead I've routinely found the "fragrant flowers" of hospitality and grace.  Its shocking and profound.

In my world of excess and abundance, my first instinct is to "krino" everyone into oblivion. However, in their world of abject poverty, their first instinct was to accept and love a rich American "tourist" who was there one day, snapped a picture, and was gone the next.  Their toilet is a public ditch outside their house that breeds disease and stinks while I get to choose from one of several different toilets that runs with more clean water in a single flush than they will have access to in an entire week.

They should judge me. They should "krino" me for my laziness, lack of gratitude, entitlement mentality, superiority complex, racism, wickedness, lack of compassion, obliviousness to the problems in the world, ego-centrism, self-righteousness, blind ignorance, apathy, hypocrisy, etc. etc. etc.

Instead I was given a valuable hand made blanket as a gift. I was invited in for a meal that cost a months wages, and even invited to a wedding celebration usually only attended by close family. I was the recipient of profound acts of hospitality and generosity from impoverished people. It was stupefying.  It was humbling.

Don't hear what I'm not saying.  (Love that phrase - even though it makes no sense. - still love it.)  Poverty and crises often breed bitterness and anger in people as well and we encountered that at times.  But those who find the capacity to love and not "krino" stick in my mind like a splinter and I can't forget them. Every time I think of them a new wave of bewilderment bigger than the last one washes over me and even though years have passed, and faces have faded a bit from my memory, I still vividly recall their spirit.

The punchline.

My trials have humbled me. They are birthing love, long-suffering, perseverance, empathy and perspective. They are producing a humility, and an ironic confidence within my soul that allows me to hold my tongue instead of use it as a whip. . . at least more than I used to.  I now view my trials as opportunities for me to draw closer to my heavenly Abba as a source of strength and not reasons to lash out at Him out of my pain. . . at least on my best days.

In the past judging people used to be a favorite pastime of mine.  It involved sitting around in a group criticizing politicians, church leaders, neighbors, unfaithful husbands, nagging wives, shady business people, bad parents, drug addicts, drunks, porn addicts, the broke, the rich, the "unmotivated" lower class of our society who's lives we subsidize by paying taxes, the rich over-paid fat-cats of our society who exploit the working-class and don't pay enough taxes, etc. etc. It involved eloquent, self-righteous rants.  It involved making snap judgments and sweeping generalizations about the "Why's and How's" of other people and their broken-down lives.  It involved "krino" without context, without personal relationship to the situation, without knowing the facts, and without any intention of investing.  It was a sport where people were treated like prey to be pounced on the minute they faltered or showed any sign of weakness.  Harsh, critical words were bullets fired at people who were not present to defend themselves.  I'd take aim, fire away and then permanently mount their head like a trophy on my wall of judgement.  And there, in my mind, they'd hang, without even knowing it . . . permanently fixed in the same "pose" in my mind, forever judged.

But fortunately for all of us, God is not like me. At the heart of God's view of his creation is the profound and unmistakable value he places on people and their broken-down lives. Apparently we have value because I doubt that God would have given His son's life for something worthless.  Jesus hanging on a cross is a declaration of worth and value over us that rings in eternity and is constantly reinforced moment by moment through God's provision for us, His acts of love and kindness toward us and the playful, joyful, live-giving relationship we get to have with the Holy Spirit every day.

If you question if God likes you, ask yourself, in an honest moment, if you've ever truly gotten what you deserved. Ask yourself if you've ever received the DUE penalty for your bad thoughts or actions. Sure you've paid the price for bad decisions now and then.  I'm not talking about speeding tickets.  I'm asking have you paid the DUE price for the horrific thoughts you've had that you'll never tell anyone about or the terrible things you've done that no one knows about.

Think about it.  The absence of immediate punishment for our sins is the active hand of God holding back the cause-and-effect created order of things. I used to think that mercy and grace were wimpy and passive. Now I think of them as a violent and forceful wind that holds back the payback I deserve.  Mercy and grace are God standing in the gap saying, "HANDS OFF" to the Devil who accuse me, declares my guilt, proclaims my wickedness, and scratches and scrapes for my soul.

Sadly, they're just reminding God of the truth about all the bad stuff I've done.  It would be different if they were lying about me but they're not.  They're simply replaying old home movies of the "old" me.
But it has been resolved in the Father's heart that he views me through the lens of Jesus righteousness, and grace and mercy are gifts to me for the process while He and I work things out.

So now then, God is not angrily waiting for me to make one mistake so He can judge me, kill me, and get it over with.  He's standing between me and the firing squad, taking the bullets I deserve. . . every day.  I'm starting to think differently about God.  Human beings are not an annoying cosmic mistake that He now has to put up with until He can wipe the slate clean and try again.  I have been given the amazing capacity to speak and create unlike any other created thing.  I have an eternal soul.   I am self-aware and have a conscience.  All these things are special qualities He reserved for human beings.  He saved the best for last during creation.  He was eager to do this.  His relationship toward human beings is one of kinship and affection where He smiles and his buttons pop whenever He sees us create, emote, observe, discern, wonder, and believe because in so doing we resemble Him.  He's even more happy when we bless, offer grace, show kindness and extend mercy.  I think these moments make Him giddy.  These moments are evidence that that the "Apples have not fallen so far from the Tree".

The Bible says that Satan and his demons "accuse the brethren". My interpretation of this is that Satan and his demons constantly recall all the terrible things that we, and others, have done lest we forget the score and fail to maintain a fully stocked battery of good reasons to condemn ourselves and others.  At the heart of my krino of others is an unspoken declaration of worthlessness over the person I judge, and ironically, over myself.  Its a curse.  Its a sentence.  Its permanent.  Its spiritually toxic.  Its poison that I drink into my soul and try to give to others.  This is Satan's plan, not God's.

The Bible says that love keeps no record of wrongs. It also says that God is love, ergo - God is not keeping a record of our wrongs.  The Bible says that for those who've accepted forgiveness through Christ's death and resurrection, there is no more condemnation, which by definition, means that there must no longer be anything in us to condemn.  Right?  Doesn't the justice and holiness of God require that?  He hates sin, he loves us.  He must not view us through the guilt of our sin anymore, but instead through the righteousness of Christ.

It says our wrongs (sins) are thrown as far as the East is from the West.  In another passage it says that they are thrown into the deepest ocean and remembered no more.  This is how God frees us from the bondage of krino.  He's not keeping score, so we don't have to either.  He's not judging our sin anymore because He dealt with that once and for all through Jesus.

Now He's judging our goodness through our NEW life which is in Christ.  He's looking at the good, the potential and the and measuring us up for an imperishable Heave-suit, a glorious inheritance, blessings, and all kinds of other good stuff He's painstakingly chosen to give us as gifts, best of all, in my opinion, being the Holy Spirit.

Satan, on the other hand, never stops reminding us of the score. He accuses, pass judgments, and attempts to persuade God to sentence us to Hell.  Satan krinos us, tries to get us to think that God is krino-ing us, and is pretty much the source of all erroneous man-made judgments for the whole of human history.  This is precisely why Jesus warns us against it.  Krino is a subtle, and well crafted trap laid by our mortal enemy that imprisons us.  It exposes without mercy and lays its victim naked in the street while it relishes the stoning about to ensue.  Krino drags a prostitute who's been caught in the act of adultery into the street naked and shamed and in blind rage screams for stones to be hurled at her until she's dead.  Fortunately Jesus is there with the violent wind of mercy to hold back the blood-thirsty, self-righteous mob and offer her grace.

God's position for all of humanity at this point in history is to extend grace and not to exercise judgment - at this time. The Bible is clear on that.  Its also clear that one day He will exercise the fullness of His authority and pass judgment on mankind.  That day the fury of His justice will be unleashed, cause and effect will be allowed to engage, and fire will consume the earth and all who deserve it.  Those who deserve it are, simply stated, those who never acknowledged their sin and asked for forgiveness, from the Son of God, who laid down his life to right our wrongs.

Good news is that on that day WE will also get what we deserve, a crown of righteousness, an inheritance, and a kiss from Heaven.  The Bible says we are co-heirs with Jesus.  The final demonstration of God's love and mercy toward the jewel of His creation is a free pass into paradise where there will be no more pain or tears, only pure bliss and joy. . . and it never ends. All we have to do is accept the gift of salvation while we are here on earth, and its a done deal.

And so, God, in His infinite mercy and with the heart of a loving parent said to me in March of 2007 - Enough is enough.  So began my journey, one trial followed by another, each accomplishing the goal God intended.  Each only as painful as absolutely necessary to teach the intended lesson.  No hurts wasted.  No pain inflicted out of retribution or a sense of justice.  No, the blood of Jesus is all that is required for that.  This pain was a gentle swat on the backside, from a loving father who doesn't want me to play with the poison of krino anymore.  Its for my own good to give me freedom.   Its love. 

Hopefully it will burn away my pride and arrogance so I can weigh situations and people with more care and not write people off.

Hopefully my own experiences of financial devastation will help me gain an appreciation for those who can't make ends meet.

Perhaps it isn't totally their fault or their lack of motivation that has landed some people where they are.

 Perhaps my own struggles with various addictions will allow me to empathize with the addicts I will meet.

 Perhaps my failures in business and relationships will allow me to resist the temptation to label others as foolish, incompetent, or selfish because I have been all of those things - and I don't want to be judged.

 Perhaps my experience of being lead into an unfamiliar place with no friends or family to rely on will prompt me to extend hospitality to the people around me who feel alone and displaced.

Its finally starting to make sense to me, not just in a philosophical way, but at the gut level, why Jesus said "judge not, lest ye be judged".

 Hopefully at the end of this I am changed. Less like me, more like Christ. Maybe, one day I can truly be a generous, hospitable, loving person like my friends who live in the refugee camp. Perhaps I'll end up being that amazing splinter in someone else's mind . . . a permanent memory of what its like to be shocked by an unlikely demonstration of grace and not krino.